Guest Post: The Top One Reason Why Living By Yourself Sux Sometimes

Can I Laugh Now? *Encouraging you to see the humor in life’s embarrassing moments.

“Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that your brothers throughout the world are undergoing the same kind of sufferings. And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast. To him the be power for ever and ever. Amen.” 1 Peter 5: 9-11

Kitta and I have decided to spotlight our favorite bloggers by inviting them to be guest bloggers for CILN to share a post with all of you, our Laughers! We are going to kick it off with Sonya of Magnet for Foolishness with…

The Top One Reason Why Living By Yourself Sux Sometimes

I’ve always said that my days of having a roommate are over. The next roommate I have will hopefully be my husband, and the only other roommates I want to have after that are our kids. I love being able to use my whole house as a closet and I don’t like having to do…well…anything I don’t want to do. Which is why I LOVE not having a roommate.

But sometimes, when things go bump in the night, I think to myself, “Self, since you don’t have a roommate, then clearly that “bump” you just heard wasn’t your roommate moving around outside your bedroom. And maybe if you had a roommate, you could text her (or him) in the next room to see if she (or he) heard that bump, too.” But, you know, when you don’t have a roommate, you can’t do things like that.

So one day last week I come home from a hard day’s work and I’m delirious. But I don’t realize just yet, HOW delirious. I step in the door and immediately start to strip (cuz these are the things you can do when you don’t have a roommate) and think about what I’m gonna have for dinner. At this point I realize that I am so focused on getting out of my work clothes and getting into some food, that I haven’t even closed the door behind me. But luckily I’d only taken off my sunglasses, earrings, and shoes, and removed the purse from my shoulder. Other things were still in process. I stop dead in my tracks because I notice something on the carpet about 30 feet from where I stand. Something that wasn’t there when I left this morning. I thought, “Gee. This is not good. Whatever it is, it’s not good.” I move one step closer and become paralyzed. It is the hugest roach that I’d ever seen IN. LIFE. I could not believe it. At that very moment, I start going through the five stages of grief:

(1) Denial. “There is NO WAY this can be a roach. And there is no way that a roach could be in MY house. DOESN’T THIS ROACH KNOW WHO I AM?” Even though it totally is a roach and it totally is in my house.

(2) Anger. “My neighbors suck! I can’t believe that they keep their house so filthy that it attracts roaches and by default, the roaches are now infiltrating my unit.” (Some people might also classify this as denial. And this is totally NOT true, by the way.)

(3) Bargaining. “Lord, if you let this NOT be a roach, I promise to get a roommate so that I’ll have somebody to blame this kinda stuff on.”

(4) Depression. “I’m so disappointed in myself. How could I let my housekeeping slip that badly? Did I let my cereal bowl sit in the sink one day too long?”

(5) Acceptance. “I have roaches. One gigantic, mother-earth sized roach, to be exact. Be a woman and deal with it.”

So I decide to be brave. I’m not going to be a prisoner in my own home, and I don’t have a roommate to call. So I have to deal with this all by myself. I take one step closer to the roach. I do it slowly because I don’t want the roach to see me and make any sudden moves. My heart is beating super-fast and thoughts are racing through my head: “Should I call my Dad and ask him what to do? I know I just called him yesterday when my air conditioner broke, so he might think I’m unindependent and can’t figure ANYTHING out for myself. I wonder if unindependent is a word? Maybe I should call my Dad and ask him. Oh wait…” So then I think, “Nope. I’m not gonna call him. Cuz he’ll for sure think that I’m crazy. But technically, if I am crazy, that would be 50% his fault, right?” And then I think, “There has GOT to be someone else I can call to come get this roach out of my house! I think I wanna put my house on the market…maybe I should call my realtor. I wonder if I do, will she come kill this roach? And then I can tell her nevermind, I wanna keep the house.” Finally, I think, “I should probably put my earrings back on. I think much better with them on.” In hindsight, this was especially important because if the roach moved before I got there with something to disable it (you know, like Pam, Febreeze, or Spray N’ Wash), the likelihood that I would pass out was very high. And when they came to find me (whoever they is, cuz it’s not like I have a roommate), I wanted to be cute.

So I move another step closer to the roach. And I then I start thinking again. “Gee, this is a mighty ROUND roach. And it is quite RED. Not sure I’ve ever seen a roach THIS round and red.” I take one step closer, still afraid that the roach might move. At this point, I’m practically standing right above this roach; I know it can see my shadow and it still hasn’t moved! So then it hits me. This might not be a roach at all. It might be a dried up piece of turkey pepperoni I dropped on the floor. On this particular morning, I was in such a hurry, I didn’t have time to fry any turkey bacon. So I just grabbed a handful of turkey pepperoni to munch on, on the way out the door. Apparently, I dropped one.

THIS is the roach.

And that is the top one reason why living by yourself sux sometimes. And it can also be the reason why you might need to get glasses.

Hey Laughers! Do you have a roommate? If so, what are some things that you like or don’t like about having a roommate? If not, have you discovered any advantages (or in my case, disadvantages) of living alone?

__________________________________________________________

Wow! That was the most interesting “roach” I’ve ever seen! Lol! Thanks, Sonya!

Laughers, be sure to let us know your take on the roommate situation. For it or against it? Why or why not? (I don’t think anyone is for roach roommates, but I wouldn’t mind turkey pepperoni as a roommate.)

If you’d like to read more from Sonya (and I know you do) check out her blog, Magnet for Foolishness.

Until Next Time,

Keep Laughing!

-Belle

*Want to be a guest blogger for Can I Laugh Now?, shoot us an email @ www.canilaughnow2@gmail.com.

Advertisements

7 thoughts on “Guest Post: The Top One Reason Why Living By Yourself Sux Sometimes

  1. Pingback: There’s a Stranger in My House… | Magnet for Foolishness™

  2. This post was HILARIOUS and I can relate! The freedom that accompanies living alone can sometimes be the VERY reason to want a roommate-**SOMETIMES** I can picture myself armed with a broom, bug spray, and shoe (under my arm) in an attempt to kill something that may/may not exist–it takes a seriously methodical approach (made sense at the time–don’t judge me lol)–for you it was pepperoni, for me, it’s been a lint ball, or even a crumb. It’s refreshing to know that someone else has gone through the 5 stages of grief–without actually grieving!

  3. I don’t do bugs either. Don’t like any of them. I would have beat it to death!! No bug is coming in my house. Next I would sprayed my entire house inside and outside trying to prevent any further occurrence. Don’t need my husband, permanent roommate, to take care of bugs. BUT if anything else crawls, it’s all on him!!!!

  4. Pingback: Welcome to March Madness! | Magnet for Foolishness®

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s